My Christmas Wish List, since you have been asking. I'm assuming this applies pretty much only to my immediate family, so you can work it out amongst yourselves.
These are just some suggestions and I'll be adding to this until Christmas.
Thank you in advance!

The list is now prioritized for your convenience. :)

2 - new cell phone (we'd have to go together to get this. apparently AT&T doesn't give you free ones anymore.)
7 - yoga strap
6 - yoga music (would really appreciate some)
5 - gift certificate to yoga studio
4 - wall calendar
3 - sun shade for car (I really need this)
- address labels ( I think D is sending some...)
- Alka Seltzer sinus medicine
8 - gift certificate for hair cut at Halo
1 - TAX SOFTWARE (This is the number one priority. Needs to do the long form of state and federal taxes.)
9 - solid colored v-neck t-shirts size medium

From Germany: book "Die Reise zur Wunderinsel" (I read this in middle school. no idea if it's still being sold. I've lived without it for years, so I'll continue to be okay without it.); German sweets. :)

I'm sure I'll think of more....  :)

quotes from class today

quoted by a student observer
5th grader: Is that your hair?
observer: Yes it is, because I bought it!

Joey: So there's one more class before the final?
Shana: Actually, the canceled the final.
Joey: The final got canceled? Praise God!

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, trying to figure out why I'm suddenly obsessed with being a teacher overseas. It was partially triggered by visiting my mom and looking at old pictures, I'm sure. I believe there was more to it than that, but I'm not sure what. Anyway, for the past week or so, I've been terrified of becoming just another suburban American. I feel different from that and I want to stay different from that. I used to test people by how the reacted to my major (Jewish, Islamic, and Near Eastern Studies.) If they thought it was awesome, that was good. If their reaction was, "Why the hell did you pick that?", they had some points to earn back.
I feel like a lot of my identity and what makes me special and awesome are my cultural experiences and love of other peoples. My friends like that about me. I like that I'm different. (Wow, I can't believe I just said that. I've spent a lot of time wanting to be "normal.")
I'd like to talk to my overseas-brat friends about this and see how they relate to life scattered across America and to spouses. Looking at their Facebook pages, they mostly seem to have settled happily into normal American family lives. Of course Facebook doesn't tell everything.
I want to continue to be extraordinary. Because living overseas is what made me this way, I think that a week ago my brain hopped to "You have to go live overseas in order to not fall into a boring suburban rut."
I met a woman who is a stay-at-home mom. She ran a marathon and then after that felt like her life had on meaning. So she started obsessively clipping coupons to give her life meaning. That is really scary to me.
For the past seven years, I worked in a job where people appreciated my background. I don't think education is going to be like that. Some people might think it's cool, but I don't think it will be seen as as much of an asset. But overseas there are people like me. People who understand. I think there are people like that in the States too, but you have to find them. That was one benefit of where I worked--I could find them. It will be harder in random cities. I'll have to figure out where to look. And I can volunteer to help new immigrants. :) I've always wanted to do that.
I think I'm going to curl up and read a little now before I get down to work...


Icon by iiconsarelovee

Today I stumbled onto a little pocket of rich people shopping. I should have guessed, because it was near August National (the famous golf course.) I drive by it on my way to and from school, so I decided to check out the supermarket there today. I love exploring abnormal supermarkets. I think I picked it up in Europe, where my family used to get all excited about foreign supermarkets.
BUT before I got to the supermarket, I decided to look in on the shoe store that was next door. I was hoping it offered discount shoes. I think they were trying to, but it was only discount to rich people. They were still averaging $100 a pair and you had to serve yourself. What I did see there were separated toe shoes!!! I'm dead serious. These shoes are marketed as a "barefoot alternative" for climbing, watersports, and hiking. The soles are very thin and I have serious doubts about how long they last. I was shocked to see such a thing. And in Augusta!!


After the shoe store, I did make it to the supermarket. Basically it was a very upscale, trendy market with lots of organic stuff. This being the South, however, they also had necessities like instant grits. It was not a huge store, but there was a baker, meat counter, and cheese counter. There even appeared to be one loaf of hared German-type bread, which I have been seeking. There was a large assortment of coffee beans which you could grind yourself. Many barrels of candy, nuts, and mixes. Lo and behold, there was also an entire display of German Christmas foods! Lebkuchen in August for $3.75! Praise the Lord! Seriously, Lebkuchen, advent calendars, Spekulatis, those horrid Pfefferminz things, Stollen. After shopping at WalMart and Foodlion for so long, the prices seemed crazy. You could get a bag of colorful noodles for $6.35. I'll stick with the box of WalMart noodles for $1. I decided to give myself a treat and bought red pepper hummus and pita. I thought about going for that German-looking bread, but I don't think I actually want to eat a loaf of bread. I looked for Gluehwein, but didn't find any. There was dehydrated okra for snacking though.

Okay, I'm craving TV. I haven't felt this way in about 6 months, which is why I was okay giving up cable. But now I want it. Even though I know it would just be a huge time-waster. I want to watch "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" I don't even get all the broadcast channels.

Today at the library I ran into the guy who used to sign my timesheets at work. I told him I'd quit and he's like, "Oh yeah, I used to sign your timesheets, but then they just weren't there anymore. I didn't know if you went somewhere else or quit or what." He's not a dumb or insensitive guy--that's just how things operate in that division. People come and go so frequently that you just don't ask.
And unlike some people, I did not send out a good-bye note to the entire division. I barely sent one to my branch. I don't think everyone who got it even knew who I was. Crazy.

Walked 2 miles today along Evans-to-Locks road. There's a great path along the road. I'm always on the lookout for new paths to walk on here. I'd go along the river, but I don't think it's too safe. Booo. It would be nice if more of the neighborhoods had sidewalks. I miss how in Germany you could walk on any tractor path through the fields, vineyards, or woods. If I did that here I'm afraid I'd be shot, arrested, or assaulted. As it was, two men in trucks honked at me as I was walking today. Why must they do that? The first one was quite loud and made me jump.

In better news, I plan on visiting the "Dutch" bakery this week. I think it's Mennonite. Apparently there's a Mennonite buffet in Wrens. I wonder who I can convince to go with me?

OMG< I just found the best Jewish/Polish name ever! ZIONKOWSKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I love it!

I love my family!
I spent a lot of time this weekend at my mom's looking at old photo albums. We were all over Europe. I was much more interested in the pics with people in them though.
It's funny how people remember different things. When I was turning 9, I asked to go to Ulm for my birthday. I don't recall why exactly. I possibly just saw the name somewhere and fixated on it. It's a fun name. My mom, however, claims that I desperately wanted to see the missiles there. I, as far as I can remember, never even knew there were missiles there until she said that. I asked my dad and he said he thought I wanted to see the tallest church spire. I think I just thought the name was cool.

I include my extended family in my love. I didn't used to. It's bad, but I'm going to be honest. We moved to Germany right after I turned 8. Most of my extended family lives in a little area of Illinois. We got to Germany and visited the US every two years. We talked to my grandparents on the phone every so often, but the rest of the family we only saw during those summer visits and got Christmas cards from. One set of cousins visited once. So most of these people we'd see every two summers. The adults would always tell me how much I'd grown. I hated that. I disliked talking to my grandparents on the phone because I felt like I didn't have anything to tell them. Of course it was a vicious circle, because the less I told them, the less we had to talk about. They loved me and wanted to know what was going on in my life, but... I don't know what my problem was. I just didn't feel like I had anything to say.
Then I got to college and I was 4 hours away from my extended family and an ocean away from my immediate family. I felt pretty cut off from my immediate family. At least we had email. I was just not one of those people who told my family details of my daily life though. I felt like I was supposed to be independent. My parents only talked to their parents every so often*, so I felt that was what was expected of me. I secretly thought of people who talked to their parents every day as weaklings. I got to visit my parents during winter break and for two weeks during summer. My mom brought me to school for the first time, but I was never moved in or out by either of them.
Then there was the matter of holidays with my relatives. Thanksgiving and Easter. At first I was not a fan. I was harboring feelings from high school that I didn't have anything in common with these people other than genes. I felt like they only cared about me because they were obligated to. Over time I changed my mind. I'm not sure how it happened. Maybe it's just growing up and maturing. By the end of college I was loving those family gatherings and excited to get together with my family. It has intensified even more since then. (Sad, since I now live 13 hours away.) I love them. We share a history. They know what I was like as a baby, (even if they haven't a clue what I was like as a teen.) This past Christmas I felt so much love from every Christmas card I got. I still have them all. What sucks though is even though I feel all this love, I still don't know how to bond with them long distance. We bond in person when I go to Illinois (like once a year.) We always promise to do better writing, but we never do. It's hard for me to start a writing relationship out of what seems like thin air. We have this shared history, but we don't so much have a shared present. I love that some of them are active on Facebook, because I feel like I can share a little in their lives by reading their updates. Yes, I very much enjoy that.
Okay, I think I'm all out of contemplation for now. But I do love my family!

* Okay, so it is quite possible that my Grandma Eva called every week, but for some reason I don't remember it being that often. Which is really quite silly, because it must have gone on for 11 years!!! For some reason I have no recollection of it being a routine thing though.

I am spending the weekend at my mom's condo in Atlanta. It's very nice here. It does me good to hang out in a place with adoring pictures of me on the wall. I don't have a childhood home to go back to. This is it. This or my grandparents' houses. I enjoy them too. So comforting, so nice.

(Laura, if you have any advice, OMG, please help me.)

So, I'm doing research on co-teaching and supposed to be making a presentation to educate educators about co-teaching and convince them that it's a good thing. 
One of the directions states, "Show some positive outcomes that have been found in the literature regarding co-teaching. Explain to teachers why they should try co-teaching. Show actual statistics..." You get the point. So I'm looking through "the literature" and recent articles are still citing an article from 2001. 
"Murawski and Swanson (2001.) conducted a meta-analysis of all available quantitative efficacy research reports on co-teaching. However, they identified only six research reports (three journal articles and three ERIC documents) which yielded an overall standardized mean difference effect size of .40. Murawski and Swanson concluded that available research yielded moderate positive effects, but that too little efficacy research had been conducted to date to offer any firm conclusions about the effectiveness of co-teaching. "
So where am I supposed to get these positive statistics?????? Right now I'm trying to search the database entering "co-teaching" and words like statistics, quantitative, and, ummm, i'm trying to think of some statistical words.
Help is very much appreciated! You may even call me. :) Thank you!

Just in case there are some plagarism journal police, that quote is from: McDuffie, K., Mastropieri, M., & Scruggs, T. (2009). Differential Effects of Peer Tutoring in Co-Taught and Non-Co-Taught Classes: Results for Content Learning and Student-Teacher Interactions. Exceptional Children, 75(4), 493-510. Retrieved November 3, 2009, from OmniFile Full Text Mega database.

A: Why are you so calm?
B: Panic won't do us any good.

from Numbers

I've been thinking about a lot of Illinois what-ifs lately. It started with seeing pics of my cousin Natalie. What if she lived in the IlVal instead of Las Vegas? What if she went to LP instead of Coronado HS? (Ha ha, she might be the only half black person there.) She would have been in band with our other cousins. That's what I really think about: If we all lived in Illinois, we'd be much closer as cousins. I'd like that. I really didn't see any of my IL cousins from college until last summer. They used to be little kids and now they're big kids! I've said over and over again that I still remember Brian and Aaron as little blond boys. Now they're really tall and in college. I love that I can feel close to my cousins via Facebook. It makes me happy. And it makes me miss them.

Okay, so waiting for The Boy to call is leading me down all kinds of past musical avenues. The Vitalite commercial and song reminded me of an ad for (mandarin?) oranges with "In the Summer Time" by Mungo Jerry. Couldn't find that ad.

Got a fun a capella version of "I'm on a Boat" from a group at UC Santa Something.

Now I'm looking for a song that I've wanted since 1998. Yes, my senior year of high school. It's a version of "Lean On Me" which makes it tough, because everyone sings that song. Of course I had no idea who the artist was. I just know pretty much every American but me hated that version, Ha ha ha. Apparently the Germans loved it though, because they played it all the time on the radio. Anyway, I just googled "lean on me" and 1998 and came up with a site saying that "2-4 Family" did a version of it in December 98 in the rap and hip-hop genre. I'm not sure the genre is right, but we'll let it slide for Europeans. (I remember the German drug store having a section labeled "Black Musik".) Wait-- crap-- if it was made in Dec 98, I was already in college. It doesn't fit. -- YouTube'd it. Nope, that's not it. It's kind of close though. I wonder if somehow the radio had an earlier version of it? No, that doesn't make sense.... Must keep looking...
Oh crud! It wasn't Lean On Me! It was Stand By Me!!!!!!!!!! I looked up a list of German hits from 1998 and it's the second one on there. Oh lawd, Phil Fulder is on there. That song is one of the two I remember them always playing at the bubble parties. (D, if you ever see a CD of Hits from 1998, or 1997 for that matter, please buy it for me!) Oh I miss high school! Not a care in the world, the whole future bright before me!

I love that music can boost my mood. I need to use that more.
Does anyone (that means you, fam) remember the Vitalite margarine commercial on British TV in the early 90s? It was to the tune of "The Israelites" -- "Oh, oh, Vitalite!" I've kept that commercial in memory and loved that song. I finally bought it as my first iTunes purchase!
Sweet, I just found it on YouTube!!



Okay, here's something else odd. On Facebook I am friends with one of my old classmates from German school (Gymnasium). I looked through her friends to see if I knew anyone else. I recognized a few names. The very funny thing is, the girls looked pretty normal, but the guys all looked aged and beer-bellied.

In other news, I found out today that one of my friends has given birth and another is pregnant! :-O

I don't know if anybody reads this at all anymore, but here I am writing. I think I'm doing it mainly for procrastination. Maybe yoga would be more productive, but I'm already here in the chair.
What I'm supposed to be doing is research on co-teaching. Gotta make a power point explaining it and then co-teach a lesson in mid-November. It will be at the end of a social studies unit on "Our Georgia History" or something like that. Luckily all before the Civil War. As far as I can tell it's more about Indians and colonists. I never thought about how hard it is to explain colonies to 2nd graders before today. Geez. Heck, some of them don't even understand what a state or a border is. They're abstract concepts, really.
I was in the library yesterday looking for books on co-teaching. The only good one is checked out til spring. There were a lot of other books I wanted to read though. It made me want to go to a Montessori grad school. One where I just read books and "play" in schools to learn how to be a teacher. Too bad the current trend is all standards-based stuff. From what I can tell it was much easier to become a teacher 10 years ago.

It feels good to write again here. Just let my thoughts come flying out. I should maybe take it up again. Maybe it would be thereputic. Therepeutic would be good. Honestly, I'm carrying around a lot of tension. (That's why the yoga is good too.) I'm afraid of failure or not being good enough or not making it. I'm afraid my classes are suddenly going to get really hard and I won't be able to handle them. In even less rational moments, I'm afraid of being broke and homeless and starving. But then I try to comfort myself and tell myself that someone would take me in and feed me. It would be okay. Or I'd just curl up and die. (Because you would eventually die, if you just curled up and didn't drink any water.) Not that I intend to do that at this point. I'm just throwing that out there as an alternative to being a homeless bum.

I was going to go out to lunch with my old office today, but the guy who was supposed to call me when they left forgot to call. Oops. By the time someone remembered, I had given up and cooked a Hot Pocket.
I was very good at my old job. I was very, very good at it.

Okay, I think I've gotten enough thoughts out so I can go have dinner in peace. I must, must, must get more school work done tomorrow though! I will!

xxoo,
shana

This woman's art inspires me!
Artz Ink
 
I especially like this one.

This was posted by Feng Shui Store on Facebook:

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Do you know we spend 70% of our time worrying about things that never even happen? Unnecessary worry is not a new fad and you should take note of those famous words from that wise French author Michel de Montaigne back in the mid 15th century “My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened” - Stop worrying and have an amazing.

(I would like to think he meant to put "life" in there as the last word. :)

In anticipation of being asked how many times I've been to Italy, I tried counting the trips up. I figured it would look snobbish if I answered, "Too many times to count!"
So here's what I've got. Family, please correct.

1, Visiting mom in Sicily
2, Moving mom to Sicily
3, Senior year of HS mission trip to Naples
4, HS graduation cruise (Venice and Bari?)
5, Venice trip at Thanksgiving with the Spaghetti Sneezer
6, Cinque Terra
7, family trip to Rome at some point (???)
8, family trip to Pompeii
Was there another northern Italy trip at some point with Florence and Vicenza? Or did that fall in with another trip? Was Rome combined with Naples? 
I'm now pretty sure I've visited Italy more than any other country. (Germany doesn't count.)

Well, France....
1, Family Paris bus trip
2, Jenny Paris bus trip
3, Normany
4, Easter in the south of France
5, Strassburg at least twice
(driving through France to get to Spain. Hmmm.)
I think that's it. So that's less than Italy. I don't think any other country would come close. Unless you count driving through Austria to get to Italy, ha ha ha.